Кокни кто это

Кокни кто это

 A Abergavenny Penny   Abraham Lincoln Stinkin   Acker Bilk Milk Would you like Acker in your coffee? Acker Bilk (born Bernard Stanley Bilk) was born in 1929 is a master of the clarinet and leader of the Paramount Jazz Band. Interestingly, his nickname Acker is a Somerset term meaning friend or mate Ackers Money   Adam and Eve Believe I don’t Adam and Eve it! [Usually full slang expression is used] Adam Ant Pants Get your adam’s on Adrian Quist Pissed   Airs and Graces Faces   Airs and Graces Braces He’s got his new airs on. Alan Minter Splinter Picked up this wood and got a terrible Alan in me finger. Alan Minter is a British boxer with a current record of 39-9 (23 by KO)] Alan Whickers Knickers The ‘lastics gone in me alans. Alan Whicker used to host a TV programme called Whickers World Alans Pants   Alderman’s Nail Tail He’s always wagging his alderman’s. Ali McGraw Straw   All Night Rave Shave   All Time Loser Boozer   Allan Border Out of Order He’s bang Allan. used when someone does something to another person that is not looked upon favourably. Allan Border was the Australian cricket captain in the late 80’s/early 90’s so we now have our first example of international rhyming slang. Alligator Later   Almond Rocks Socks Wouldn’t it be nice if your almonds matched? Alphonse Ponce   Ancient Greek Reek   Andy Cain Rain   Anna Maria Fire   Anneka Rice Ice   ‘appeny dip Ship   Apple Core Score (£20) I gave me last apple to that old paraffin. Apple Fritter Bitter (beer) I’ve tried that new apple but I prefer my salmon [Salmon and trout — stout]. Apple Tart Fart   Apples and Pears Stairs Get yourself up the apples. April fool Stool   April fool Tool   April Fools Football Pools   April in Paris Arse I’m ‘aving terrible trouble with me April How can such a simple word have so many convoluted references? April in Paris -> Aris (from Aristotle -> bottle which is from bottle and glass -> arse.) April Showers Flowers I forgot it was my anniversary, so I picked some aprils on the way home. Archer 2000   Are you George? Are you sure?   Aris Arse   Aristotle Bottle If you want milk, put the Ari on the doorstep. Every now and again they throw a curve at you. One person has suggested that, not being familiar with Aristotle, early Cockney’s might have assumed the name was Harry Stottle! Army and Navy Gravy Can I have some army for my mashed? Arnold Palmer Farmer (see usage) e’s a right Arnold. I love this one — it refers to a golfer who spends a lot of time in the long grass around a course Artful Dodger Lodger She’s taken in an artful to help pay the way. Arthur Ashe Cash That blokes not short of Arthur Arthur Bliss Piss I’m just popping out for an Arthur .Arthur Bliss was a famous English composer (1891-1975). Arthur Scargill Gargle (drunk) e’s right Authur’d Ascot Races Braces   Aunt Nell Smell He don’t half Aunt Nell Auntie Annie Fanny She’s just sitting at home on her Auntie Annie Auntie Dot Hot   Auntie Ella Umbrella Wonderful — it’s starting to rain and me without my Auntie Ella. Auntie Lily Silly   Auntie Nellie Belly I punched him in the Auntie but he didn’t even notice. Ayrton Senna Tenner ere, lend us an aryton me old china. Ayrton Senna was a Formula One driver  B Babbling Brook Crook He’s always on the babble. Meaning he’s always planning something crooked. See also Cook. Babbling Brook Cook My missus couldn’t babble to save her life. See also Crook. Bacon and Eggs Legs Lovely set of bacons. Bacon Rind Blind Are you completely bacon? Bacon Sarnie Pakistani They’ve hired a new bloke at the shop — he’s a bacon. Sarnie is a slang term for sandwich (and if you haven’t eaten a cold bacon sandwich you haven’t lived. Bag of Fruit Suit   Bag of Sand Grand He owes me a bag. Bag of Yeast Priest   Baked Bean Queen (Elizabeth II)   Baked Potato Later I’ll see ya baked. Baker’s Dozen Cousin   Bale of Hay Gay Don’t bother Britany — he’s bale. Bale of Straw Raw   Ball of Chalk Walk After a heavy meal I like quick ball round the square. Balloon Car Saloon Bar I’ll be at the balloon. Ballroom Blitz Tits (breasts) She’s got marvellous ballrooms. Ballroom Blitz is a song by a group named Sweet. Band of Hope Soap   Bangers and Mash Cash I knew his cheques were dodgy, so I got him to pay me in bangers. Bar 1000000   Barclays Bank Wank He’s having a barclays. Barn Owl Row (argument) Went up to the dole office today. ‘Ad a bit of a barney with the geezer behind the desk. Not satisfied with the slang, the word is extended to ‘Barney’ to thoroughly confuse everyone. Barnaby Rudge Judge I’m up in front of the Barnaby tomorrow morning. Barnacle Bills Testicles   Barnet Fair Hair She must be going out — she’s got her Barnet done. Barney Marlin M’Darlin   Barney Rubble Trouble Stay away from him. He’s really Barney. Barry Crocker Shocker   Barry Mcguigan Biggun (big one)   Barry White Shite (shit) I need a Barry White. Basil Fawlty Balti   Basil Fawlty 40   Basin of Gravy Baby   Bat and Wicket Ticket I’ve got a bat for tonight’s train. Battle Cruiser Boozer (liquor store) I’ve got to get to the battle before I go to the party. Battle of Waterloo Stew   Bazaar Bar   Beans on Toast Evening Post Go and buy the beans on toast will you son. bear’s paw Saw   Bed and Breakfast 26   Beecham’s Pill Bill (statement) I got my Beecham’s from the tax people. Beecham’s Pill Still   Bees and Honey Money Can’t go in there without any bees. Bee’s Knees Business   beggar my neighbour Labour   Ben Cartwright Shite   Bended Knees Cheese   Bengal Lancer Chancer (someone not qualified) News paper adds would state no bengal lancers when advertising for tradesmen. Benny Hills Pills   Berlin Walls Balls Me pants are too tight and making me berlins wobbly. Bernard Matthew Queue   Bernie Flint Skint   Bernie Winter Printer   Betty Grable Table   Bexley Heath Teeth   Biffo the Bear Hair Me biffo’s not looking the best today. Biffo the Bear was on the cover of Beano from 1948 to 1974. Big Ben Ten   Big Dippers Slippers   Bill Murray Curry   Billie Jean Clean   Billie Piper Windshield Wiper   Billies Bunter Punters   Billy Goat Throat I’ve got a sore billy goat. Bin Lid Quid   Bird Lime Time What’s the bird? Bird’s Nest Chest I had to punch him in the bird’s nest. Biscuit and Cookie Rookie   Biscuit Tin Chin He’s got a big biscuit. Biscuits and Cheese Knees I’ve been on my biscuits all day. bladder of lard Card   Blood Red Head She likes to give blood. Blushing Bride Girl Guide   Bo Diddley Kidney Me bo’s are giving me gyp. Boat Race Face Nice legs, shame about the boat. Also a good song by The Monks. Bob 1 Shilling (5 pence)   Bob Cryer Liar Shut up you Bob — yer talking out yer aris. Sergeant Bob Cryer is a character in «The Bill». Bob Hope Dope (marijuana) I think he’s been smoking a bit of Bob Hope. Bob Hope Soap   Bob McNab Cab   Bob Squash Wash   Bobble Hat Laugh   Bobby & Dick Sick   Bobby Moore Sure   Bobby Moore Score You know the Bobby. Bobby Moore was a great footballer who died in 1993. Boiler House Spouse Me boiler’s always yammerin’ on. Bonney Fair Hair She’s got beautiful shiny bonney. Boom and Mizzen Prison e’s off to the boom for a bit. Bo-Peep Sleep What I need is a good bo-peep. Borassic Lint Skint (broke) He’s right boric. Boris Karloff Cough That’s a nasty old boris you’ve got there son. Boris the Bold Cold   Born and Bred Bed   Bottle and Glass Arse I gave him a good kick up the bottle. Bottle and Glass Class   Bottle and Stopper Copper (Police Officer)   Bottle of bass Gas   Bottle of Glue 2   Bottle of porter Daughter   Bottle of Sauce Horse   Bottles and Stoppers Coppers (police) Blimey — I think the bottles are on to me! Boutrous Gali Charlie (cocaine)   Bow and Arrow Sparrow Little bow and arrow fell out of the nest. Usually the full slang expression is used. Bow and Arrow Barrow   Bow and Arrows Farrahs (trousers) Nice pair of bow and arrows. Use your best Cockney accent here. Bowl of Fruit Suit Are you wearing your bowl of fruit tonight? Bowler Hat Chat Let’s get together for a bowler. Box of Toys Noise Hold your box — they can hear you miles away! Brace and Bits Tits (breasts) Blimey — what a brace! Brad Pitt Shit I right need a Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt Tit (breast) Nice pair of brads. Brahms and Liszt Pissed (drunk) He’s well Brahms and Liszt , don’t give him any more to drink. Brass Tacks Facts Ere, you’ve got your brass wrong! Bread & Jam Van   Bread and Butter Gutter Found him laying in the bread and butter. Usually full slang expression is used. Bread and Cheese Sneeze I hate allergies — one good bread after another. Bread and Honey Money Let’s drink with him — he’s got bread. This one has enjoyed very common usage. Bread knife Wife   Brenda Lee Key Where’s me brenda’s? Brian Clough Rough   Bricks and Mortar Daughter   Brigham Young Tongue   Bright and Breezy Easy   Brighton Pier Queer (homosexual) That blokes a bit of a Brighton. Briney Marlin Darlin’ You look lovely tonight, me old briney. Bristol Cities Titties (breasts) She’s got a lovely pair of Bristols. Bristol Pistol Brassiere   British Rail Mail   Brittney Spears Beers ow about a Brittney? Brixton Riot Diet   Bromley by bow’s Toes   Brown Bread Dead I’m telling you, mate. He’s brown bread Bruce Lee’s Keys Have you seen me brucies? Brussel Sprout Shout   Brussel Sprouts Scouts He’s always been a brussel. Bubble and Squeak Greek E’s not a bad bloke for a bubble. Bubble and squeak is a uniquely British dish of fried mashed potatoes and something green (usually cabbage, but left over brussel sprouts work well) Bubble and Squeak Week   Bubble Bath Laugh You’re ‘avin a bubble aren’t ya? Bucket and Pail Jail One drink too many and I get seven days in the bucket. Bugle Nose   Bugs Bunny Money I’ve got some Bugs bunny in me sky rocket and I’m off down the rub-a-dub-dub. Bull and Cow Row (argument) Had a right bull with my misses last night. Bullock’s Horn Pawn (as in-pawn)   Bungle & Zippy Nippy   Bunny Talk   Burnt Cinder Window Close the bloody burnt. This works if you mispronounce window… winda — and cinder… cinda as any good Englishman would. Burton on Trent Rent They’ve raised my burton again. Bushel and Peck Neck He’s got a bushel like tree trunk. Bushey Park Joke   Bushey Park Lark   Buster Keaton Meetin’ (meeting) We’ll see you at the Buster. Butcher’s Hook Look Here — take a butcher’s at this.  C Cab Rank Bank I won’t be long — just going to the cab rank. Cadbury’s (snack) Back   Cain and Abel Table Sit yourself at the cain and I’ll bring you your Tommy (Tommy Tucker — supper). Callards Trousers   Calvin Klein 9   Calvin Klein Fine I’m calvin today. Cambridge and Oxford Ugly Face   Camel’s Hump Dump (shit) Just going for a quick camels. Can of Oil Boil e’d be nice looking once his canov’s clear up. canal boat Tote   Canary Fairy (Gay)   Candle Wax Tax   Candlesticks Zits   Canoes Shoes   Cape of Good Hope Soap Go wash yourself — and use the cape. Captain Cook Look   Captain Hook Book I’ve read this captain. Captain Kirk Work   Cardboard Box Pox   Carpet 3   Carpet Pile Smile   Cash and Carried Married Poor bloke got cashed on the weekend. Cat and Cages Wages   Cat and Dog Bog (Toilet)   Cat and Mouse House Went ’round to his cat to wake him up. Century 100   Chalfont St Giles Piles (hemorrhoids) Me chalfonts are playing up. Chalk Farm Arm He broke his chalk. Charing Cross Horse   Charlie Brown Clown   Charlie Chan Tan   Charlie Dicken Chicken   Charlie Hunt Cunt (Fool)   Charlie Nash Slash   Charlie Pride Ride   Charlie Ronce Ponce   Chas and Dave Shave I’m off for a chas. Cheerful Giver Liver Lovely — cheerful for dinner tonight. Cheese & Ham Scram   Cheese & Kisses Missus   Cheese and Rice Jesus Christ   Cheese Gratter Raver   Cheese rind Four of a Kind   Cheesy Quaver Favour Do us a cheesy, put it on your web site. Chelsea Pier Queer   Cheltenham Bold Cold   Cheque Gregory Peck I never ‘ad any bread on me, so I ‘ad to pay by Gregory. Cherry Hogg Dog My bloody cherry is off again. Cherry Ripe Pipe   Chevy Chase Face She’s got a lovely Chevy Chase. Chicken & Hen 10   Chicken and Rice Nice   Chicken Oriental Mental (crazy) It was chicken oriental down the nuclear on Friday night. Chicker Haircut   China Plate Mate How are you, my old china? Chinese Blind Mind You’re out of you little chinese mate. Ching 5   Chipmunks Trunks   Chips & Peas Knees   Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Cockney Rhyming Slang We’re talking about chitty chitty on this web site. Chocolate Fudge Judge   chopsticks Six   Christian Slater Later See you Christian Slater. Christmas crackered Knackered   Church Boys Customs & Excise   Cilla Black Back   Cilla Black Late You’re a bit Cilla today, mate. Claire Rayners Trainers (running shoes) I’ve got me new Claire Rayners on. Claire Rayner is an author. Claret (red wine) Blood   Clement Freud hemorrhoid Oooh, me clements! clickety click Sixty-six   Clothes Peg Egg   Coals and Coke Broke   Coat Hanger Clanger (mistake) He dropped a coat. A clanger is when you really put your foot in it. Cobbler’s Awls Balls (testicles) Go on! Kick him in the cobblers! Can also be used to express disbelief, such as «Cobblers! That’s not the way it is.» Cock and Hen Ten I didn’t get much change back from a cock cock linnet Minute   Cock Sparrow Barrow He’s wheeling his cock ’round the market. Cockle Tenner   Cockle and Mussells Brussells (sprouts)   Colonel Gadaffi Cafe   Comedy Dave Rave (dance) You coming to the comedy? Comedy Dave is a Radio 1 DJ Comic Cuts Guts   Conan Doyle Boil This one was sent to me — I’m not familiar with it. Don’t know if it means boil as in hot water or boil as in ‘better see a doctor’ Constantino Rocca Shocker Played a round of golf yesterday — had a complete Constantino .Constantino Rocca is an Italian golfer Corn on the Cob Job e can’t afford it — ‘e ain’t got a corn Cough and Drag Fag (cigarette) I’m going out for a quick cough and drag Council Gritter Shitter (rectum) When I sat down there was a pin on my chair! Right up the council gritter! He reports that a council gritter is the machine that comes around and puts grit on icy roads country cousin Dozen   Cow and Calf Half (a pint) I could use a cow and calf. He reports that there’s a pub in Grenoside (near Sheffield) called the Cow and Calf Cows Calf Laugh Your having a cows calf, ain’t you Cozzer’s Cops   Cream cookies Bookies   Cream Crackered Knackered (tired) I’m cream crackered, mate. Crosby, Stills, Nash Cash That blokes not short of Crosby Crown Jewels Tools   Crust of Bread Head Use your crust, mate. Cucumbers Numbers   Cuddle and Kiss Miss She’s a cute little cuddle. Currant Bun Son He’s awfully proud of his currant. Current Bun Nun My meanest teachers were currents Current Bun Sun Old current bun’s out today Custard and Jelly Telly (TV) As usual, nothing on the custard tonight. Cuts and Scratches Matches Do you have any cuts?  D Daffy Down Dilly Silly e’s a bit daffy. Daffy Down Dilly is a line of dolls from Madam Alexander. Daft and Barmy Army He was promoted in the daft. Daily Mail Tale   Daisy Dancers Stairs Get yerself up the daisy dancers. This one’s a bit convoluted: Daisy Dancer => Dancing Bears => Stairs. The daisy dancer reference is a twist on the Dancing Bears=>Stairs slang. Daisy Roots Boots You can’t go out in the rain without your daisies. Dame Judy Dench Stench A right Dame Judy in here Dancing Bears Stairs Get yerself up the dancing bears Dancing Fleas Keys   Daniel Boone Spoon Pass me a daniel Danny La Rue Clue He ain’t got a danny. Danny Marr Car (flash one)   Darby and Joan Moan   Darling Daughter Water   Darren Gough Cough This Darren is killing me pants and vest Darren Gough is one heck of a cricketer. David Boon Spoon Pass me that David Boon. David Boon is an Australian cricketer David Bowie Blowy (Windy)   David Gower Shower I’d just got out of the David Gower. David Gower is an English cricketer David Gowers Towers   David Mellors Stellas (beers)   Day’s Work 100   Dead Horse Sauce Pass the dead horse Dead Loss Boss   Dead Ross Tomato Sauce   Deaf and Dumb Bum   Deep Sea Diver Fiver   Deep sea glider Cider   Dental Flosser Tosser   Derby Kelly Belly That’s the stuff for you Derby Kell; makes you fit and it makes you well .From old cockney song Boiled Beef and Carrots — pronounced Darby. Desmond Hackett Jacket   Desmond Tutu 2:2 (lower second class degree) He’s got his Desmond Desperate Dan Suntan   Desperate Dans Cans (headphones) ere — put your desperates on Dick Van Dyke Bike   Dickory Dock Clock What’s the time on the dickory? Dicky Bird Word He left without so much as a dicky. Dicky Dirt Shirt Put your dicky dirt on before the company gets here. Dig in the Grave Shave A quick shower and dig and I’ll be ready to go. Ding Dong Song Everyone gather round the piano for a ding dong. Usually the full slang expression is used Ding Dong Bell Hell   Dinky Do Twenty-two   Dinky Doos Shoes   Dirty Den 10   Dixie Deans Jeans   Do me Good Wood   Doctor Crippen Dripping   Doctor Dre Gay (homosexual) E’s a bit of a doctor. Dr. Dre is a rap artist Dog and Bone Phone She’s always on the dog. Dog’s Eye Meat Pie   Dog’s Knob Job Me new motor is just the dog’s knob Dolly Dimple Simple She’s a bit Dolly Dimple Dolly Mixtures Pictures   Donald Duck Luck How’s your Donald? Donald Duck F**k   Donald Peers Ears   Donald Trump Dump (shit) I’ve got to go for a donald Donkey Rides Strides (trousers) He’s wearing black donkeys Donkey’s Ears Years Ain’t seen you in donkeys mate. Dorothy Dicks 6   Dorothy Squires Tyres   Dot and Dash Cash   Dot Cotton Rotten   Doug McClure Whore   Douglas Hurd Turd (shit) I need to dump a Douglas . Douglas Hurd is a politician. Dover Harbour Barber I’m off to Dover to get me barnet sorted Down the Drains Brains   D’Oyly Carte Fart Have you done a d’oyly? D’Oyly Carte is a light opera company Drip Dry Cry   Drum and Bass Face   Drum and Fife Knife   Drum Roll Hole Let’s pop ’round to my drum (referring to someone’s house). Drummond and Roce Knife and Fork   Duane Eddies Readies (cash)   Duchess of Fife Wife Now my old dutch, where are we off to tonight? Duchess of Teck Cheque   Duck and Dive Skive   Duck’s Arse Grass (Informant)   Dudley Moore’s Sores   Duke of Argyles Piles   Duke of Kent Rent I can’t afford to pay the Duke of Kent this week Duke of York Chalk   Duke of York Fork Keep your fingers out of your grub, man. Use a duke Duke Of York Cork   Dunkirk Work   Dunlop Tyre Liar ‘e’s a bit of a dunlop Dustbin Lids Kids A nice girl but too many dustbin’s. Dustins Hoffman Rothmans    E Ear’ole (Ear Hole) Dole (welfare) If I get the tin tack I’m going on the ear’ole Early Hour Flower   Eartha Kitt Shit I’m going for an Eartha Eartha Kitts Tits (breasts) Nice Eartha’s Earwig Twig   East and West Vest   East Ham Mad   East West Breast ‘ave a look at her easts Easy Rider Cider Pint of Easy Rider please Eau de cologne Phone   Eddie Grundies Undies   Edgar Alan Poe Tow   Edinburgh Fringe Minge   Edna Everage Beverage Would you like an Edna? Edna Everage (aka Dame Edna) is a star, darling! Edward Heath Teeth He got smacked in the Edwards. Edward Heath was PM in the early 1970’s Egg Yolk Joke   Eiffel Tower Shower   Eighteen Pence Sense   Elephant and Castle Arsehole   Elephant’s Trunk Drunk He shouldn’t be driving! He’s bloody elephant’s. Elliot Ness Mess My drum’s a right Elliot Elsie Tanner Spanner (wrench) Can I borrow your elsie Elsie Tanner Planner   Emma Freuds Hemorrhoids Me Emma’s are playing me up. Emma is a BBC DJ on Radio 1 Ernie Marsh Grass   Errol Flynn Chin   Euan Blair Leicester Square We’re getting off the train at Euan Blair station Evening Breeze Cheese   Everton Toffee Coffee I’ll have an everton Eyes of Blue True    F Fainting Fits Tits (breasts) Wouldn’t mind getting me germans on her faintings Faith and Hope Soap Where’s the faith and hope, I wanna wash me ‘ands Falun Gong Wrong It seems to have all gone a bit falun gong. From semi-obscure evil Chinese cult with tendency to inaccuracy, therefore appropriate. Family Tree Lavatory   Fanny Blair Hair   Fanny Craddock Haddock   Fanny Hill Pill (Contraceptive)   Far East Priest   Farmer Giles Piles (hemorrhoids) Blimey, I ain’t ‘alf suffering from me farmers Farmer’s Daughter Quarter   Fat and Skinny Mini   Fat and Wide Bride   Fatboy Slim Gym I’m going down to the fatboy .Fatboy Slim is a recording artist Father Ted Dead   Feathers 33   Fibre of your fabric Loot (money) C’mon, let me feel the fibre of your fabric. fabric=>suit=>loot] Fiddle De Dee Pee / Wee   Field of Wheat Street He out standing in the field, waiting for a bus. Fine and Dandy Brandy A small drop of fine would suit me. Finger and Thumb Rum   Finlay Quaye Gay (homosexual) That boozer is Finlay ub .Finlay Quaye is a musician Finsbury Park Mark   Fireman’s Hose Nose Look at the size of his fireman’s First Aid Kits Tits   Fish and Chips Tips (Gratuities)   Fish Hook Book I’ve read the new fish by Deighton. Fisherman’s Daughter Water   Five to Two Jew If you’re a fiver then today’s your Sabbath. Flight Lieutenant Biggles Giggles   Flowers and Frolics Bollocks   Flowery Dell Cell I’ve got three more years in this flower. Fly-by-Nights Tights   Foot pump Dump   Fore and Aft Daft   Fork and Knife Wife   Forrest Gump Dump (shit) «Off out in 10 minutes?» «Yeah, just got to have a Forrest first». Forsythe Saga Lager Mines a forsythe Four by Two Jew He’s not from around here — he’s a four. Four Seasons Reasons   Four Wheeler Sheila   Francis Drakes Brakes   Frank Bough Off   Frankie Howard Coward   Frankie Vaughan Porn Is there any Frankie on the telly tonight? Frankie Vaughan Prawn   Fred Astaire Hair   Fred McMurrays Worries   French Kiss Piss (Urinate)   Friar Tuck Luck E always had a bit of friar tuck. Fridge Freezer Geezer   Frog and Toad Road Don’t ride your bike on the frog. See Road => Kermit Front Door Bore   Front Wheel Skid Yid (Jew) He’s a front wheel. Fruit Gum Chum How yer doing, my old fruit Frying Pan Fan   Fugly Ugly    G Gamma Ray Stray That Mary’s a bit of a gamma Gang and Mob Gob (mouth) He’s got a big gang Garden Gate 8   Garden Gate Magistrate   Garden Gate Late   Garden Gate Mate   Gary Abblets Tablets (Ecstasy)   Gary Glitter Bitter (beer) Give us a pint of gary Gary Glitter Shitter (rectum) He kicked him right up the Gary Gary Player All Dayer (all day drinking) Let’s make it a Gary Player Gates of Rome Home   Gathers Cops   Gavvers Police   Gay & Hearty Party   Gay and Frisky Whisky I’ll have a gay and I’m off. Be careful where you use this Gay Gordon Parking Warden   General Election Erection   Geoff Hurst Burst (urinate) I’m dying for a Geoff. Geoff Hurst’s World Cup Final hat-trick v West Germany at Wembley in 1966 and six goals v Sunderland (19.10.68) two years later, have been woven into the fabric of football folklore. Geoff Hurst Thirst I’ve got a Geoff on tonight Sir Geoff Hurst was the only footballer to score three goals in a World Cup final. Geoffrey Chaucer Saucer   George and Zippy Nippy (cold) It’s a bit George. Eli Davenport reports that George & Zippy are from an old BBC kids show called Rainbow George Bernard Shaw Door   George Best Chest (In football) Over ‘ere son, on me Georgie . George Best is a famous footballer George Martin Farting   George Raft Draft There’s a bit of a george in here. Georgie Bests Breasts   Georgio Armani Sarnie (Sandwich)   German Bands Hands Get your germans off my missus. Gertie Gitana Banana I like a gertie on my cereal .Possibly an old music hall star Giggle and Titter Bitter (beer) ere. I could use a giggle. Gin and Tonic Supersonic   Ginger Ale Jail e’s doing time in the ginger. Ginger Beer Engineer He knows his stuff. He is a ginger, after all. Ginger Beer Queer (odd) I don’t know about that — sounds a bit ginger. Gipsy’s Warning Morning   Giraffe Laugh You’re havin’ a giraffe, mate. Girls and Boys Noise   Glasgow Ranger Stranger   Glass of Plonk Conk (Nose)   Glass of Water Quarter   Glenn Hoddle Doddle (easy or straight forward) That jobs a Glen Hoddle. Glenn Hoddle is the coach of the English football team replacing Terry Venables. Gloria Gaynors Trainers (running shoes) That’s a nice pair of Gloria’s Gobstopper Chopper (Penis)   God Forbids Kids Couldn’t hear a thing ’cause of all the Godfor’s. Gold Watch Scotch (Whisky) E enjoys his gold watch Goldie Locks (Goldies) Socks   Goose’s Neck Cheque He stuck me with a bouncing goose. Gordon & Gotch Watch   Grand 1000   Grass in the Park Nark   Grasshopper Copper (police) He got nabbed by the grasshoppers. Gravel and grit Shit   Gravy lumps Dumps   Grease and Grime Time   Green eggs and ham Exam   Greengages Wages I’ve blown the greengages down at the dogs Gregory Peck Cheque I never ‘ad any bread on me, so I ‘ad to pay by Gregory. I’m going down to the iron to sausage a gregory. Gregory Peck Specs (spectacles) Where’s me gregs Gregory Peck Neck Wind you Gregory in Gypsy Nell Hell My knee is giving me gyp today. Gypsy’s Kiss Piss Blimey — no more beer till I’ve ‘ad a gypsy’s.  H Habitual Knitter Bitter   Haddock and Bloater Motor (car) I’ve gone and locked me keys in the haddock Hair Gel Bell   Hairy knees Please   Hairy Nips Chips   Half a Gross Dose   Half Inch Pinch (steal) Someone’s half-inched me pint! Half inched Pinched   Half Past Three Tea Where’s me bleeding cuppa arf past? Ham and Cheesy Easy   Ham and Eggs Legs   Ham Shank Bank   Ham Shanks Yanks   Hammer and Tack Back Ooh! Me ‘ammer and tack’s playing me up again. Hampden Roar Score You know the hampden. The Hampden Roar is is a commonly used term that refers to the noise made when fans cheer on Scotland at Hampden Park Hampstead Heath Teeth His hampsteads (hamps) are a crime. Hampton Wick Prick He gets on my wick. Don’t even try to understand this one — just accept it Hank Marvin Starvin’ I’m bloody Hank Marvin. I haven’t eaten all day Hank Marvin was the guitarist for The Shadows from the 1960’s to the 1990’s. Hansel and Gretel Kettle   Harold Wilson’s Stilsons (Pipe Wrenches)   Harris Tweed Weed   Harry Bash Cash   Harry Dash Flash (natty) e was alway a bit of an ‘arry Harry Kewell Cool   Harry Lime Time What’s the Harry Lime? Harry Lime is a character in ‘The Third Man’ Harry Lin Chin   Harry Monk Spunk (semen) This glue’s as sticky as a load of Harry. Harry Monk was an old music hall entertainer. Harry Nash Cash There’s a discount if you’re paying Harry Nash — if anyone knows the origin of this I’d appreciate it Harry Rag Fag (cigarette) Have you got a harry? I don’t know who or what a «Harry Rag is. If you know please tell me. Harry Randall Candle Look at all the Harry’s on his cake. Harry Wragg Fag (cigarette) Have you got a harry? Frank Baynham reports that Harry Wragg was a famous jockey Harvey Nichol Pickle   Hat Rack Back   Hay Stack Back   Heap of Coke Bloke   Hearts of Oak Broke (financial) I’m skint mate. Bleedin’ hearts. Hedge and Ditch Pitch (Stall or Stand)   Henry Eighth   Henry Moore Door They broke the ‘enry down at number thirty two Here and there Chair   Herring bone Phone   Hey Diddle Diddle Middle   Hide and Seek Cheek He kissed me on my hide and seek Highland Fling Ring   Hillman Hunters Punters   Hit and Miss Piss I’ve got to have a hit before we go out. hit and miss Kiss   Hobsons Choice Voice   Holly Hox Pox   Holy Friar Liar ‘e’s a bit of a holy friar Holy Ghost Toast How about another round of ‘oly. Holy Ghost Racing Post   Hopping Pot Lot (Serving or share) That’s your hopping mate. Meaning, that’s all you get. this may have originated with Londoners who traveled to Kent and other districts to gather hops for beer Horace Batchelor Spatula   Horse and Cart Fart Have you just horse & carted? Horse and Cart Heart   Hot Cross Bun Nun   Hot Cross Bun Son   Hotpoint Fridge Severn Bridge   House to Let Bet   Housemaid’s Knee Sea   How d’you Do Shoe   How’s your father? Lather   Hum & Song Pong (smell)    I I Suppose Nose That rotten drunk gave me a clip on me I suppose. Ian Beale Deal   Ian Wrights Lights   Ice cream freezer   Ice Cream Freezer Geezer e’s not a bad old ice cream I’m Afloat Overcoat   Inky Smudge Judge   Ins and Outs Snouts (Cigarettes) ere mate, got any ins and outs? (See Salmon and Trout) Irish Jig Wig I think that blokes wearing an Irish Irish Rose Nose She gave me a kiss on my Irish. Iron Hoof Poof (homosexual) He’s a bit of an iron. Iron Tank Bank He lost his house to the iron. Isle of Wight Right   Isle of Wight Light   Itch and Scratch Match   Itchy Teeth Beef   Ivory Band Hand    J J. Arthur Rank Wank (masturbate) e’s off having a J. Arthur Jack & Jill Till (Cash register) E got nicked with ‘is ‘ands in the old jack and jill Jack an’ Dandy Handy   Jack and Danny Fanny She’s just sitting at home on her Jack and Danny Jack and Jill Bill (statement) I’m going home — can I have my Jack? Jack and Jill Pill (birth control) She’s on the Jack Jack and Jill Hill The store is up the jack. [See also Bill] Jack and Jill Till   Jack Jones Alone   Jack Jones Alone He went to the pub all Jack. Jack Jones Own   Jack ‘n’ Danny Fanny   Jack Palance Dance   Jack Tar Bar (pub) I’m off to the Jack. See also ‘Alone’ and Bar (pub). Could be very confusing if you’re going alone — «I’m off to the jack jack». Or, if you were telling your brother Jack, «I’m off to the jack jack, Jack» Jack the Dandy Brandy   Jack the Ripper Stripper I love me jack the rippers Jack the Ripper Kipper   Jackanory Story   jackdaw Jaw   Jackie Chan Scran (food) I’m Hank Marvin. I could use some top Jackie for me Michael Winner Jacks alive Five   Jackson Pollock Bollocks This modern art’s a load of old Jacksons . Pollock is a «20th Century strange artist». Jacobs Crackers Knackers (testicles) That toe-rag kicked me in the Jacobs Jam Jar Car Bloody jam is down again. Jam Roll Arsehole That geezer is a right jam roll. Jam Tart Heart   James Dean Obscene   Jamie Redknapp Crap   Jazz Bands Hands Get yer jazz bands off me Jeckyll and Hyde Snide ‘e’s a bit Jeckyll Jekyll and Hyde Pride You lost your jekyll or something? Jekyll and Hydes Strides [trousers) Just bought a new pair of Jekylls Jenny Lee Key   Jeremiah Fire   Jerry Cottle Bottle   Jerry O’Gorman Mormon   Jim Skinner Dinner Is my Jim ready yet? Jimmy Hill Bill (statement) Have we paid the Jimmy Hill yet? . Jimmy Hill is a football pundit and former player Jimmy Hill Pill   Jimmy Hill Ill   Jimmy Nail Hell   Jimmy Orner Corner   Jimmy Riddle Piddle (urinate) I’ve had three pints — I could use a jimmy. Joanna Piano He sparkles on the joanna. Just to confuse you, they mispronounce the word you’re trying say, so instead of ‘piano’ they call it a ‘piana’ Jockey Whips Chips I’ll have a large plate of jockey’s Jockey’s whip Kip   Jodrell Bank Wank Just off for a Jodrell .Jodrell Bank was the site of a University of Manchester botanical station, about 20 miles south of Manchester, back in the 1940’s. Today, Jodrell Bank is a leading radio astronomy facility. Joe Baxi Taxi Mind if I share your Joe Baxi? William Coward says Joe Baxi was a heavyweight boxer who knocked out British champ George Woodcock around 1950. Joe Blake Steak   Joe Blake Snake   Joe Brown Town   Joe Goss Boss Never trust a joe .Joe Goss was a talented boxer Joe Hook Book   Joe Rook Crook   John Cleese Keys ‘ave you seen me johns John Cleese Peas Eat yer John Cleese — they’re good for you John Cleese Cheese I’m meeting the big John Cleese today at work John Major Pager Me John Major’s just gone off John Major Wager (bet)   John O’Groat Throat ‘e cleared his groat whilst wiping his mincers with ‘is germans John Skinner Dinner   John Wayne Train   Johnnie Horner Corner I’ll meet you ’round the Johnnie. Johnny Horner Corner   Johnny Mutter Butter   Johnny Vaughn Yawn Can’t hold back a good Johnny .Johnny Vaughn was the star of The Big Breakfast Johnny Vaughn Porn I enjoy a bit of Johnny .Johnny Vaughn was the star of The Big Breakfast Judge Jules Tools   Julian Clary Fairy   Julius Caesar Geezer ere, look at the ‘ampsteads on that Julius Jumping Jack Back    K Kareem Abdul Jabbar Car Bloody kareem is down again. Kareem Abdul Jabbar is a basketball player in the U.S. How he got into rhyming slang I’ll never know! Kate Steak   Kate and Sydney Steak and Kidney A lovely Kate and Sydney pie [Not really rhyming slang — more a matter of getting your mords wixed up] Kate Karney Army He’s off and joined the Kate. Kate Moss Toss I couldn’t give a Kate Moss. Kate Mossed It Lost It   Kathy Burke Work   Keith (Chegwin) Pregnant   Keith Deller Stella (Artois)   Ken Boon 4 Door Saloon   Ken Smee Pee   Kermit Road e took off down the kermit. From Kermit the Frog => frog and toad => road. Kermit the Frog Bog   Kerry Packer Knackered (tired) I’m right Kerry’d — Kerry Packer is an Australian media magnate (and bleeding rich!) Kettle and Hob Watch (fob watch) That’s a lovely kettle. I got the following from Dudley who wondered about the connection between a kettle and a watch — he passed on the following story: Kevin Keegan Vegan   Khyber Pass Arse Stick it up your khyber. Kick and Prance Dance   Kick Start Tart Is this a lads night or are we taking the kicks kidney punch Lunch   King Lear Queer (homosexual) e’s a bit King Lear. King Lear Ear   King Tut Gut   Kingdom Come Bum He just sat on his kingdom all day King’s Death Breath   Kippers Slippers   Kitchen Sink Clink (jail) After that last episode he’ll be in the kitchen for a while Kitchen Sink Drink   Kite Cheque   Knobbly Knees Keys Have you got your knobblies with you? Knobbly Knees Peas We’re havin’ sexton and knobblies Kungfu Fighter Lighter   Kuwaity Tanker Wanker    L Lady from Bristol Pistol   Lady Godiva Fiver (5 pound note) Ere, that bloke still owes me lady! Lager and Lime Spine   Lah-di-dah Star   Lamb & Mint Skint   Lar-dee-dar Cigar   Lards Trousers ‘e was caught with ‘is lards down. Lards is from Callards & Bowsers, makers of fine toffee’s. last card in the pack Sack   Laugh and Titter Bitter (Beer)   Lee Marvin Starvin’ I’m Lee Marvin… if you’re really hungry you could say, «I’m Hank, and his brother Lee». Lee Marvin was an American actor. See other entry for starvin’ (Hank Marvin). And no — they’re not related. Left in the Lurch Church   Legs 11   Lemon Curd Girlfriend   Lemon Dash Flash Don’t act so lemon Lemon Lime Crime Not one lemon reported all night Lemon Squeesy Easy   Lemon Squeezer Geezer   Leo Fender Bender (homosexual) That blokes a bit leo after all. The late Leo Fender was the inventor of the Stratocaster guitar Leo Sayer All Dayer (all day drinking session) Let’s make it a Leo Sayer. Lesley Crowthers Trousers   Lester Piggot Bigot   Light and bitter Shitter   Light and Dark Park   Lilian Gish Fish Good day at the stream. Got a pair of Lilian’s. Lilley & Skinner Beginner   Lilley and Skinner Dinner   Lillian Gish Pish   Lilly and Skinner Dinner What’s for lilly and skinner Linda Lusardi Cardy (cardigan) Oh my God — look at that awful Linda he’s wearing Linen Draper Paper (newspaper) Has the morning linen come yet? Ling and Linger Ring on Finger   Lionel Bart Fart   Lionel Blaire Flares (wide bottom trousers) Got on his best lionels for the evening. Lionel Blaire is a performer. Lionel Blaire Nightmare I’m havin’ a right lionel Lionel Blaire is a performer. Lion’s Lair Chair Have a lion’s while you wait. Little and Large Marge   Little Critter Bullshitter   Liz Hurley Early ‘e’s never gotten here liz Liza Minelli Telly (TV) What’s on the Liza? Loaf of Bread Head Don’t just stand there — use your loaf. Lollipop Shop   Long Un 1000   Longers and Lingers Fingers   Loop de Loop Soup Nothing like a good loop on a cold day. Lord Lovel Shovel   Lord Mayor Swear   Lord of the Manor Tanner   Lords and Peers Ears   Louise Wener Tenner (10 pound note) ere, lend us a louise. Louise Wener is a singer with the band Sleeper Lousy Brown Crown   Love and Kisses Missus (Mrs) Where did your love and kisses go? L-Rig Girl   Lucy Locket Pocket Keep it in your Lucy.  M Macaroni Pony (25 pound)   Macca Crap I’m off for a macca . Comes from Macaroni => pony; Pony & Trap => Crap Mae West Best I’m Mae West at Cockney Rhyming Slang Magnus Pike Dyke (Lesbian) She looks like a right Magnus — Magnus Pike was an ‘off the wall’ TV personality who would (and could) explain complex scientific concepts to kids Mahatma Ghandi Randy   Major Stevens Evens (betting)   Man on the Moon Spoon   Manchester Scally Rally   Manhole Cover Brother My manhole cover is coming for a visit. How does manhole cover rhyme with brother you ask? Simple… if you pronounce brother as «bruvver»! Mark Ramprakash Slash   Mars Bar Scar I fell down the apple and pears trying to answer the dog & bone, hit my head and ended up with a mars bar Master McGrath Bra   Matheson Lang Slang (Cockney Rhyming)   Mavis Fritter Shitter   Melvyn Bragged Shagged   Melvynn Bragg Fag (cigarette) Oi, mate. Can I scrounge a melvynn of you Merchant Banker Wanker He’s a right merchant Merlyn Rees Peice (lunch)   Merry Old Soul Arsehole ‘e’s a bit of a merry old soul Meryl Streep Sleep   Meryl Streep Cheap   metric miles Piles   Michael Caine Train I missed me Michael Michael Caines Stains   Michael Miles Piles   Michael Winner Dinner I’m Hank Marvin. I could use some top Jackie for me Michael Winner.Michael Winner is the food critic for the Sunday Times Mick Jagger Lager How about a couple of Mick Jaggers over here? Mick Mills Pills ‘e’s always ‘ad a weakness for the Mick Mills . Mick Mills played for Ipswich in the ’70s Mickey Bliss Piss (Make fun of) He’s always taking the mickey out of someone Mickey Duff Puff (marijuana) Here, mate. Got any Mickey? Mickey Most Toast   Mickey Mouse House I’m taking my missus to the mickey tonight. Usually means a theatre rather than a residence Mickey Mouse Scouse   Mickey Rourke Pork   Midland Bank Wank (masturbate) I’m going for a midland Mikkel Becks Specs [Spectacles) Where did I put me Mikkel’s? — Mikkel Beck is a footballer Milton Keynes Jeans   Mince Pies Eyes She got beatiful minces. Moby Dick Sick I’m feeling a bit Moby today. Molly O’Morgan Organ   Monkey 500   Monkey Wrench Wench   Monkey’s cousin Dozen   monkey’s tail Nail   Moriarty Party Mental morry mate Mork and Mindy Windy Cor, it’s bloody mork today, shows you that the slang is constantly evolving Mother Hubbard Cupboard There’s nothing in the mother. Mother of Pearl Girl   Mother’s Ruin Gin Another mothers would sit well. Mozambique Keek   Mrs Chant Aunt   Mrs Duckett Bucket   Mrs. Chant Aunt He didn’t know what to get his Mrs. Chant for Christmas Mum and Dad Mad He’s a bit mum and dad. Mumbley Pegs Legs Stand on your own mumbleys Murray mint   Murray Walker Talker She’s a real murray 6 just can’t get her to shut up! Murray-mint Skint   Mutt and Jeff Deaf Poor buggers mutt and jeff. Usually full slang expression is used. very often the expression is shortened to mutton as in «Poor buggers mutton». Mutter and Stutter Butter   Mystic Meg Leg    N Nails and Tacks Fax   Nanny Goat Throat Get that down your nanny Nanny Goat Boat I took my nanny out on the river. Nanny Goat Coat Put your nannies on — it’s taters out. Nat King Cole Dole (welfare) I’ve got to sign on the old Nat King Natter Chat   Near and Far Bar (pub) I saw him at the near. Ned Kelly Telly   Needle and Pin Gin I’ll have a small needle and tonic. Nelson Eddy’s Readies (pound notes) e’s got a pile of nelsons! Nelson Mandelas Stella (beer) A couple of nelsons please Nena 99   Nervo 9   nervo and Knox Box   Nervous Wreck Cheque   Neves 7   New Delhi Belly   Newington Butts Guts (stomach) My newingtons are giving me some gyp today. Newington Butts is in an area of London (SE1?) commonly known as The Elephant and Castle Niagara Falls Balls (testicles) I got him in his niagara’s Niffty 50   Nifty n Frifty Shifty   Nightboat to Cairo Giro   Nix 86   Nix/Nixies Nothing   No Surrenders Suspenders   Noah’s Ark Park I’m taking my misses to the Noah. Noah’s Ark Shark   Noah’s Ark Lark   Nobby Stiles Piles (hemorrhoids) Me nobbies are acting up again .Nobby Stiles was a great footballer from years gone by Norman Watts Pots   North and South Mouth I gave him a punch up the north. Nose and Chin Gin I’ll have a drop of nose and chin Nuclear Sub Pub I’ll meet you down the nuclear at 5 o’clock Nuns ‘n Habits Rabbits   Nuremberg Trials Piles Me Nuremberg’s are really playing me up  O Ocean Mate   Ocean Going Squid Quid   Ocean Pearl Girl   Oily Rag Fag (cigarette) Give us an oily. Okey Doke Poke   Old Bill Police   Old Pot And Pan Husband   Oliver Twist Fist Next thing I know he’s got his Oliver in my face. Oliver Twist Pissed (drunk) I ‘ad one over the eight last night and got completely Olivered. See also ‘Fist’ and ‘Brahms & Liszt’ Omar Sharif Grief   on the floor Poor   Once a Week Cheek   One and t’other Brother ere’s me one and t’other now. One and two’s Shoes Where’s me one ‘n two’s? One Time Looker Hooker   Ones and Twos Shoes   Ooh Aah Stella Artois (beer) I’ll have an ooh aah Orange Peel Feel I fancy an orange of her Bristols! Orchestra Stalls Balls (testicles) He nearly got hit in the orchestra Oxford Scholar Dollar Stupid horse cost me an Oxford. Pre-war the dollar was worth just less than 5 shillings, so an Oxford is worth 5 shillings or a crown Oxo cube Tube (underground)    P Pam Shriver Fiver   Pants and Vest Chest This cough is killing me pants and vest Paper Hat Prat   Paraffin Lamp Tramp (hobo) I gave me last apple to that old paraffin Pat and Mick Sick   Pat Cash Slash   Pat Malone Alone I’m all pat tonight. Paul Cousins Baker’s dozens   Paul McKenna Tenner (£10) I’m don to me last Paul McKenna . Paul McKenna is a famous hypnotist Paul Weller Stella (beer) Give us a Paul Weller — Paul Weller is (or was) a musician with The Jam. Stella refers to Stella Artois Pea shooter Hooter (nose)   Peanut Butter and Jelly Belly   Pear Halved Starved «Lunch in a bit?» «Yeah, I’m a bit pear.» Pearly Queen Seen   Peas in a Pot Hot Don’t touch that — it’s bloody peasy. Peckham Rye Tie I’m putting on me best whistle and me new peckham. Peddle and Crank Wank (masturbate) I’m off for a peddle! Pen and Ink Stink That’s a bit of a pen and ink. Perpetual Loser Boozer   Persian Rugs Drugs ‘ere mate. Got any Persians? Pete Tong Wrong It’s all gone a bit Pete .Pete Tong is an English DJ Peter Pan Tan   Peter Powell Towel   Petrol Tanks Yanks   Philharmonic Gin and Tonic   Picadilly Chilly   Piccadilly Silly I’ve always said he was piccadilly Pie and Apple Chunk Drunk   Pie and Liquor Vicar   Pie and Mash Slash (piss) I’m poppin’ out for a pie and mash Pieces of Eight Weight She’d better watch her pieces of eight Pig’s Ear Beer Can I buy you a pig? Pillar and Post Ghost Looks like he’s seen a pillar Pillar and Post Host Who’s the pillar and post for tonight? Pimple and Botch Scotch He enjoys a good pimple. Pineapple Chapel   Pineapple Chunk Bunk (bed) I could use a couple of hours in the pineapple Ping Pong Strong I need a ping pong drink Pinky and Perky Turkey   Pins & Pegs Legs   Pipe your Eye Cry   Pitch and Toss Boss My bloody pitch kept me late again. Pittsburgh Steelers Peelers (police)   Planet of the Apes Grapes   Plaster Arse   Plates and Dishes Misses   Plates of Meat Feet Get your plates of the table. Pleasure and Pain Rain Any more pleasure and we’ll be swimming. Plimsoll Mark Park   Plink Plonk (Wine)   Polo Mint Bint   Pony 25   Pony and Trap Crap Ang on, mate. Just gotta ‘ave a pony Or, another usage if something’s a bit off (i.e.. not of good quality) — That’s a bit pony mate! Pope in Rome Home Let’s pop ’round his pope and fetch him. Pope on the rope Dope   Porcupine Wine Where’s the porc waiter Pork Chops Pigs (Police)   Pork Pies Lies Blimey — he gets two pigs (beers) in him and he starts telling porkies. Porridge Knife Life (term) e’s doing a stay in the porridge Posh ‘n Becks Sex Had a bit of posh with the missus last night Posh refers to Posh Spice (Victoria Adams) of the Spice Girls while Becks refers to David Beckham, the famous footballer she married. Another example of Rhyming Slang evolving to reflect the times. See also Decks -> Posh ‘n Becks Posh ‘n Becks Decks (turntables) Have you got yer posh ‘n becks yet, see Sex -> Posh ‘n Becks Pot and Pan Old Man (Father) I was talking to me old pot just yesterday. Pot and Pan Old man (husband)   Pot of Glue Clue   Potatoes in the mould Cold Cor, taters out there init? Prairie Hat Prat   Present and Past Last   Prison Time Bird (Lime)   Profit & Loss Boss    Q Quaker Oat Coat   Queen mum Bum   Queen’s Park Ranger Stranger Who’s that Queen’s Park Ranger standing over there? Quid Pounds (currency)    R Rabbit and Pork Talk He’s always rabbitting on about something. Radio Rental Mental He’s a bit radio Rainbow Trout Kraut (German) Bloody rainbows beat us at football last night! Randolph Scott Spot (acne) I’ve got a great big randolph on my chin Raspberry Ripple Nipple Look at the thup’neys on her, raspberries like cigar buts! Raspberry Ripple Cripple The old boy’s a raspberry Raspberry Tart Fart He blew a raspberry. Rats and Mice Dice   Ravi Shankar Wanker That referee is a right Ravi Razor Blazer   Read and Write Fight He’d rather read than walk away. Red sock Dock   Reels of Cotton Rotten   Reg Grundies Undies   Reg Varney Pakistani Martin’s new bird’s a Reg .Reg played Stan Butler on ‘On the Buses’, one of the 1970’s BritComs Rex Mossop Gossip What’s the latest Rex, love? Rex is an Aussie sports commentator Rhythm and Blues Shoes Get your rhythm and blues on Richard the Third Bird Look what that bloody Richard’s done to my car! Richard the Third Turd (shit) He’s a bit of a Richard. Rick Whitter Shitter (toilet or rectum) Back in a sec — I’m off to the rick. Rick Whitter is a singer in the group Shed7 Ricki Lake Fake   Riff Raff Café (pronounced caff) I’m off to the riff raff Rifle Range Change   Rink-a-dink Chink (Chinese) We’re going to get rinky take-away. Rio Grande 1000   Roast Pork Fork   Roath 4   Rob Roy Boy   Robin Hood Good That sounds like it’s robin Rock and Roll Dole (welfare) e hasn’t worked a day in ‘is life… ‘e’s always been on the rock and roll. Rockford Files Piles (hemorrhoids) Me Jim Rockford’s are giving me gip! Jim Rockford was the central character in the TV show The Rockford Files. Rocking Horse Sauce   Rodney Marsh Harsh   Roger Moore Door   Roger Moore Whore   Roger Nellie Telly   Roland Joffe Coffee   Roller Coaster Toaster   Ronald Riches Bitches   Ronnie & Reggie (Kray) Veggie   Ronnie Barker Marker (pen)   Roof Rack Back   Rory O’Moore Door   Rory O’Moore Floor   Rosy Lea Tea I’ve just put the rosy on. Rouf Cinque 45   Round the Houses Trousers e’s got hisself a new set of round the houses Roy Hudd’s Spuds   Rub a Dub Sub (pay advance) Guvnor Give us a rub a dub till pay day. Rub-a-dub-dub Pub I’m off to the rub-a-dub-dub. Rubber bands Hands   Rubber Dub Sub   Rubber Duck Cook   Rubber Glove Love   Rubric’s Cube Pube (pubic hair) When your having a shower make sure you wash your rubric’s Ruby Murray Curry I’m going for a ruby. Ruby Murray was a singer in Glasgow back in the 30’s or 40’s — thanks to Peter Cotterell for the Ruby Murray info. N. Matthews tells me that Ruby was an Irish singer (1935-1996) popular in the mid to late 1950’s. Got a note from Sandy Everitt who knew Ruby Murray 6 Ruby was a top recording star in the 1950’s who achieved the rare feat of having five songs in the top 20 at one time. Ruby died in 1996 Rum and Coke Joke   Runner Beans Jeans   Ruof 4   Russell Harty Party I’ve phoned for a sherbert to take us to the Russell — Russell Harty is a TV host Rusty Nail Jail    S Salmon and Trout Snout (cigarette) Ere mate, give us a salmon, I’m right out.If you know where the expression ‘snout’ for cigarette comes from I’d like to include it. Martin McKerrell has written that Snout comes from snout rag meaning handkerchief (I’m thinking snot rag — JA) so Snout Rag = Fag = cigarrette. Also, Richard Beveridge has suggested that the term snout comes from prison life when the prisoners, who would take their daily exercise in silence, would signal a tobacco supplier that he needed cigarettes by touching his nose.- See «ins and outs» Salmon and Trout Snout (cigarette) Ere mate, give us a salmon, I’m right out. If you know where the expression ‘snout’ for cigarette comes from I’d like to include it Salvador Dali Drink   San Moritz Shit’s   Sandshoe Thank-you   Sans Fairy Ann I don’t mind   Santa’s Grotto Blotto (drunk)   Saucepan Handle Candle   Saucepan Lids Kids I’m forever buy clothes for the saucepan lids Sausage and Mash Cash I haven’t got a sausage. A little bit different, but fairly common in many English speaking countries Sausage and Mash Crash He was in a fearsome sausage. Sausage Roll Dole (welfare) He ain’t worked in years — he’s on the sausage. Sausage Roll Goal   Scapa Flow Go Scapa off! Actually pronounce ‘Scarper’ — just one example of not being satisfied with the slang, they then mispronounce the word to thoroughly confuse everyone Schindlers List Pissed (drunk) I’m a bit schindlers after a too many forsythes Scooby-Doo Clue I haven’t got a scooby Scooby-Doo Subaru Let’s have a go in ya scooby-doo Score 20   Scotch Mist Pissed (drunk) e was completely scotch mist last night. Scotch Pegs Legs Sit down and take a load off your pegs. For whatever reason, the common usage is the rhyming word rather than the first Scott Gibbs Fibs (lies) He’s been telling scotts again. Scott Gibbs is a rugby star Scott Mills Pills   Scratch yer head (Scratcher) Bed   Screaming Alice Crystal Palace   Screw Prison Officer   Scuffers Police   Sebastion Coe Toe   Septic Tank Yank He’s not very bright… septic, you know. Sexton Blake Fake He wears a Cartier but it’s a sexton See also ‘Sexton Blake->cake’ Sexton Blake Cake ow about a nice slice of sexton? Possible that Sexton Blake was a detective in comic book stories (?) Shake and Shiver River He jumped right into the shake Shannon Tweed Weed   Shaun Ryder Cider   Shawshank Redemption Pension   Sherbet Dab Cab (taxi) e’s been on the sherbert for five years (driving a cab). Sherman Tank Wank (masturbate) e’s a right sherman Sherman Tank Yank   Shit Brace and Bit Just off or a brace Shoe Scooby Doo Where are me Scooby’s? Shovel and Pick Nick (prison) He’s spending a bit of time in the shovel. Sieg Heils Piles (hemorrhoids) I’ll stand if you don’t mind — me sieg heils are acting up today. Sigorney Weaver Beaver   Simon Said Dead   Sinbad the Sailor Tailor   Single Fish Pish   Skin and Blister Sister She may be his blister but she’s nothing like him. Sky Diver Fiver   Sky Rocket Pocket I’ve got nothing in my skies. Slay ’em in the aisles Piles (hemorrhoids) Me slay ’ems are playing me up. Slits in a Dress Mess   Snake’s hiss Piss   Snout Cigarette   Snout Informant   Snow and Slush Flush   Sock and Blister Sister   Soldiers Bold Cold   Son ‘n Daughter’d Slaughtered   Sorry and Sad Bad That dinner was a bit sorry. Soup and Gravy Navy   Sovs Pounds (currency)   Spanish Archer Elbow   Spark and Smoulder Shoulder   Spotted Dick Sick We don’t have a goalie 6 John’s spotted .Spotted Dick is a dessert make with raisins Sprarsy Anna Tanner (sixpence) Lend us a sprarsy — I wanna get some toe-rags (cigarettes) St. Martins-Le-Grand Hand I had it in my St. Martins a minute ago Stammer and Stutter Butter Extra stammer for me. Stand at Ease Cheese Wouldn’t mind a bit of ease. For whatever reason this one is backwards — the only rule is that there are no rules! Steak & kidney Sydney   Steam Tug Mug (fool)   Steffi Graf Laugh   Steffi Graf Bath I’m just going for a steffi Steffi Graf Laugh You’re having a Steffi Stench Dame Judy (Dench)   Steve Claridge Garage I’ve just gotta go down the Steve for some petrol . It helps if you realize that garage, which commonly rhymes with mirage in North America, more usually rhymes with carriage in Britain. A great Tony Hancock piece has him trying to act all condescending and pronouncing it the American way, confusing the ears off a local constable. Steve Claridge is a venerable striker, late of Leicester. Steve McGarret 50   Steve McQueens Jean’s Me new steves are a bit tight Stevey Bould Cold   Stevie Cinema   Sticky Toffee Coffee   Stinging nettle Kettle   Stoke on Trent Bent (criminal) e’s stoke he is Stoke on Trent Bent (homosexual) That bloke’s a bit stoke See also ‘Bent (criminal)’ Strange’n’Weird Beard   Strawberry Rhone Phone   Strawberry Split Git (twit) That bloke’s a right strawberry Strawberry Tart Heart   Suez Canal Flannel   Sugar Candy Handy   Supersonic Tonic How about a nice Vera and super (Gin & Tonic) Supersonic Gin and Tonic   Swanee River Liver We’re having swanee for dinner again? Sweaty Sock Jock (Scot) There was an Englishman, an Irishman and a sweaty on a boat… Sweaty Sock Scot   Sweeney Todd Flying Squad Here comes the Sweeney [the Flying Squad are the police] Sydney Kidney   Syrup of Figs Wig What a syrup.  T T and H 8   Talk and Mutter Butter Would you like some talk on your toast Taters in the Mould Cold   Tea Caddy Paddy Did you know Kevin is a tea caddy? Tea Leaf Thief He’s always been a bit of a tea leaf. [Usually the fully slang expression is used] Tea Leafing Thieving   Teapot Lid Quid I’m down a teapot already. Teapot Lids Kids I’m taking my little teapot to country. Ted Ray Gay (homosexual) He’s a bit Ted. Ted Ray was an actor/comedian in the sixties. This association actually comes from a particularly bad movie «My Wife’s Family» where he played a character called Jack Gay. Telecom Tower Shower   Ten Furlongs (Mile and a quarter) Water I’ll have a gold watch and ten Ten Speed Gears Ears Look at the size of ‘is ten speeds Tennis Racquet Jacket I bought a new tennis racquet Terry Waite Late You’re a bit Terry Waite Texas Ranger Stranger This pub is full of Texas Rangers these days There you are Bar   Thirteen Amp Tramp (hobo) Look at that bunch of thirteen amps over there. thirteen amps is the standard electrical receptacle in Britain This and That Cat   Three Card Trick Dick (penis) She couldn’t keep her jazz bands off my three card trick Three Wheel Trike Dyke (Lesbian) She’s a bit of a three wheeler Thr’penny Bit Tits (breasts) Look at the Thr’penny’s on her. Thumb and Pinky Chinky   tic tac Sack   Tick Tock   Tick-Tock Clock   Tiddley Wink Drink Just one more tiddley and I’m off; or, He’s popped down to the pub for a tiddle. Tilbury Docks Socks   Tile Hairstyle   Tin Bath Laugh   Tin Flute Suit I’ll be wearing me tin flute Tin Lids Kids I can’t put me foot down without stepping on one of the tin lids. Tin Tack Sack (fired) He got the tin tack the other day. Tin Tank Bank   Tit for Tat Hat Lovely titfer. Tit Willow Pillow   Toblerone On My Own He’s over there on his toblerone. Toby Ale Rail ‘e’s traveling by toby. Toby Jug Mug (chump) I’m tired of people taking me for a toby Todd Sloan Alone Looks like I’m on my Todd tonight. Todd Sloane On your own   Toe Rag Slag (prostitute) She’s a right toe rag. Toe-Rag Fag (cigarette) Lend us a sprarsy — I wanna get some toe-rags. Toe-rags refer to the rags people used to wrap around their feet when they didn’t have shoes… we used to call our socks toe-rags which is probably the same origin. He also says his old dad used to call some people a toe-rag and suspects it might have been an insult (reference to fag = queer). Toe rag couls also refer to a small time petty thief, in his words «the sort of dirty little toe rag who would live next door and break into your house and nick the Christmas presents», «term is commonly used, at least in Scotland, meaning just a bit stronger than «rascal» and probably spelled without the e: ‘You little torag.’ I always thought it did come from terms used to refer to travelling people. Tom and Dick Sick He’s feeling a bit Tom. Tom and Jerry Merry E’s a tommy bloke. Tom Foolery Jewellery That bloke looks a flash, look at all his tom. Tom Jones Bones Ooh, me toms are clicking. Tom Mix 6   Tom Tank Wank   Tom Thumb Rum A wee bit of Tom and I’m off. Tom Tit Shit I’m going for a Tom Tit. Tom, Dick and Harry Dictionary I’ll just check the meaning in the tom. Tommy Tank Bank I’m going ’round the tommy to pay in a gooses. Tommy Tank Wank (masturbate) She’s probably at home doing a tommy. Tommy Tucker Supper You can sing for your Tommy. Ton 100   Tonic Philharmonic I’ll have a Vera and Phil (gin and tonic). Tony Blair Hair   Tony Slattery Battery   Top Hat Chat   Town Halls Balls   Tramp on a bench Wench   Trap One Toilet   Treacle Tart   Tree trunk Skunk   Trombone Phone   Trouble and Strife Wife I’m taking my trouble dancing tonight. Tufnell Park Lark (fun) Always one for a tufnell. Tumble down the sink Drink   Turkish Bath Laugh He’s havin’ a turkish. Turkish Delight Shite   Turtle Dove Love All right me old turtle. Turtle Dove’s Gloves Where’s me turtle dove’s. Twist and Shouts Sprouts I love bubble and squeak made with Twist and Shouts. Twist and Twirl Girl She looks like a nice twist. Two and Eight State (anguish) He’s in a two and eight over it. Two Bob Bit Shit   Two Fat Ladies 88   Two Little Ducks 22   Two-Bob Bits Shits (diarrhoea) I’ve got a real case of the two-bob bits.  U Uncle Bert Shirt I’ve got to press my uncle. Uncle Billy Chilly   Uncle Bob Knob ‘e’s a bit proud of his Uncle Bob. Uncle Dick Sick I can’t come out tonight — I’m feeling a bit Uncle Dick. Uncle Fred Bread Hey, mum. Can I have some Uncle Fred with this? Uncle Fred Dead   Uncle Ned Head   Uncle Reg Veg   Uncle Sam Ham   Uncle Ted Bed I’m off to Uncle Ted. Uncle Toms Bombs   Uncle Willy Silly    V Valerie Singleton 1   Van Gogh Ear Left Here   Vera Lynn Skin (cigarette paper) Got any vera’s? Vera Lynn Gin I’ll have one more Vera before I hit the frog and toad. Vincent Price Ice   Vindaloo Clue He hasn’t got a bloody vinda. Vodka and Tonic VAT (value added tax)   Von Trappe Crap    W Wallace and Gromit Vomit One more pint and I’ll Wallace, mate. Wally Grout Shout (round) It’s your wally, mate (ie. It’s your turn to buy a round of drinks). Wally Grout was an Australian cricketer who died in 1968. Wally’s Scarf Laugh He’s having a wally. Walter Mitty Titty (breast) She’s got a lovely set of walters. Watford Gap Slap I’m gonna give you a Watford ’round yer chevy. Weakest Link Drink   Weasel and Stoat Coat I left my weasel in the pub. Weavers’ Chair Prayer Haven’t got a weaver’s of getting into her alans. A weaver’s chair has a low profile back allowing free movement of the arms. Website Sight Get out of me website. Weeping Willow Pillow ere. Get yer head off my weeping willow. West End Thespian Lesbian She’s a lovely girl but she is west end, you know. West Ham Reserves Nerves e’s got a bad case of the West Ham’s. Westminster Abbey Shabby He’s turned out a bit westminster today. Weston-Super-Mare Nightmare Went for an interview yesterday — it was a total Weston-Super. Weston Super Mare is the main coastal resort of North Somerset. Wheeltappers and Shunters Punters   Whiskey and Soda Voda (mobile phone)   Whiskey Malt Fault   Whistle and Flute Suit He bought himself a new whistle for the wedding. White Mice Ice   Widow Twanky Hanky   Wilson Picket Ticket I want to go to New York, but I can’t afford the wilsons. Wind and Kite Web Site Check out me wind and kite. Windjammer Hammer   Winona Ryder Cider Can I get two pints of winona please. Wobbly Jelly Telly   Wooden Plank Yank Then this wooden bloke walked in. Wooly Hat and Scarf Laugh   Wyatt Earp Burp    Y Yabba-Dabba-Doo Shoes Nice pair of yabba’s mate. For them what don’t have a classical education, «Yabba-Dabba-Doo» was the catch phrase of Fred Flintstone. You and Me Tea Fancy a cup of you and me? You Must Crust   You’re having a Giraffe Laugh   Yuri Geller Stella    Z Zig and Zag Shag  



Источник: www.freelang.net


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